CHITZONIM

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HOW CAN THE ACTIONS AND KAVANOT DURING MARITAL UNION INFLUENCE THE CHILD BEING CONCEIVED?

The Talmud explains (see Nedarim 20a-b) that, ‘different actions’ during the marital intercourse determine important physical and spiritual aspects from the soul that will, G-d willing, descent for the child’s body. The Tanna Rabi Yohanan ben Dahabai – who mystically explains having received knowledge on these subjects through the agency of angels – says in this tractate that, in accordance of “certain” sexual acts, children may be born “dumb, deaf, or blind”! Moreover, there are also effects caused strictly through the ‘time’ when the union occurs. Thus, Kabbalah affirms that: “Truly, there is that which is a ‘proper time’ for marital intercourse… and no other time is appropriate for this junction to be performed with all joy without any ‘extraneous admixture’ [i.e., the chitzonim] save that night [i.e., Shabbat. See Talmud, Ketubot 62b] – when the souls are distributed to the wise, the righteous, and the pious” (Zohar 204b, Vaya’khel). We see then that actions and distinct times in the fulfillment of the mitzvah (of marital union) can afect the soul that is to come. Moreover, through kavanot, the parents may spiritually elevate themselves to infinite heights and greatly impact this soul!

Regarding the subject that the ‘the parents may spiritually elevate themselves etc.’, as it is known, the ‘sexual energy’ (the physical form of the spiritual energy) is an extremely pure energy and must be care for and not wasted due to its fundamental role. As it has been explained, it allows – in accordance to the degree of purity it is used – great ascensions or great falls, chaz v’shalom. As it is written: Vehineh sulam mutsav artsah verosho magia hashamaymah vehineh mal’achei Elokim olim veyoredim bo, “Behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven; and behold the angels of G-d ascending and descending on it” (Bereshit 28:12). On this pasuk, Kabbalah explains (see Zohar 149b, Vayetze) that, “The ladder signifies the spiritual attribute of Yesod [connected to sexual subjects]. To Ya’acov avinu, it was shown that this attribute exists on earth – it literally belongs to ‘mundane subjects’, however, the ‘top of it reached to heaven’ – to wit, when the person heeds to the Divine will and raises this attribute to its origin, then he truly reaches heaven… and ‘this is alluded in thesecret of the pasuk, Mi ya’aleh lanu hashamaymah, Who shall go up for us to heaven [Devarim 30:12]. The initial letters, the Reshei Tevot of this, spell out the word milah [circumcision], and the final letters, the Sofei Tevot, spell out Havaya’ [Tikkunei Zohar 2a] – this means that the person can ascend on high if he purifies this attribute” (the Slonnimer Rebbe, Netivot Shalom).

Regarding the subject of ‘greatly impact this soul’, beyond of has been already considered, it is important to comprehend something of the kavanot during the sexual union. It is very important that these unions be fulfilled in complete joy and happiness. Every mitzvah must be done with great joy, but this one, even more so. It is also important that the married couple, “both should have the same kavanah” (Zohar 81a, Kedoshim; see ibid. 83b for the contrary): to bring down to this level a noble soul, with yirat shamayim (fear of Heaven), a soul that will illuminate the world, to wit, a tzaddik. Hence, it is good to bring to mind a tzaddik on the moment of procreation (see Ramban, Iggeret HaKodesh; R’ Eliyahu de Vidas, Reshit Chochmah, Sha’ar HaKedusha 16). Furthermore, “it is necessary to know that, a child born from the predominant desire from the husband [to have a child, as have been described], receives an ‘extra’ vitality from the father, for this desire means the father’s wish ‘to connect to the Etz Chayim’” (Zohar 209a, Vayigash) in the secret of “She is a Etz Chayim to those who lay hold on her; and happy is every one who holds her fast” (Mishlei 3:18). It is also known that, “‘If the woman emits her semen first she bears a male child; if the man emits his semen first she bears a female child’ [Talmud, Niddah 31a]… Now, he who emits seed last is the one who prevails [i.e., something of his strength]… so the man [who wishes to have a male child] becomes cold, so as to not become heated [during the act], and in this manner the woman is heated [giving seed] before. Afterwards, he is the last to emit seed [thus ensuring that child’s vitality, as explained]. However, many who have followed this did not succed, for all is [baruch Hashem, and thus,] in the Divine will” (Rabi Yehudah Fatiyah, Minchat Yehudah, Parashat Shmuel I, Siman Bet, Ayin Tet, pg. 118). In any case, the person must sanctify himself at the time of marital relations, for all comes from merit. And let him pray throughout the first 40 days of conception: Yehi ra’avah mi’maarei alma shenizke lebanim yierim ushlemim va’chareidim lidvar Hashem venire’eh bachem kedushat tanaim ve’amoraim amen, “May it be the will of the Master of the Universe that we merit G-d fearing and flawless sons who tremble at the word of Hashem. And may we observe in them the sanctity of the Sages of the Mishnah and Talmud. Amen” (Rabi Tzvi Hirsch Kaidenover, Kav HaYashar, Perek Yud Zayin).

 

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WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PRACTICE OF NON-KOSHER SEX (GALUEI IRVAH)?

In order to provide further clarification, I want to address non-kosher unions in light of both the subject ofarayot and of zera levatalah.

The pronouncement of the living G-d Himself regarding the Torah law dealing with all aspects of sexuality – and the ill consequences of transgressions in these matters – is clear and decisive (see Vayikra 18:24-30). The sexuality declared by G-d as being impure and abominable, to wit, all prohibited sexual unions (arayot) which are known are galuei irvah (“the uncovering of nakedness”, implying on an exclusively physical relationship and spiritually frivolous) is summarily forbidden and it is verily a hindrance to the person’s ascension in kedusha. This also means that such nakedness should literally be covered. And as it is written, “When the yetzer hara grows stronger in man, it only does so through his immoral sexual conduct. All sins are connected to the ‘uncovering of nakedness’” (Zohar 15b, Vayikra). This is true even is the person is considered in all other aspects of his life, as good, decent, and honored. However, the sexual unions called “knowledge” (which recognize the intimate physical-spiritual nature of the sexual union and its consequences) are not only approved, but allow great spiritual ascensions! The ones named galuei irvah are actual transgressions of spiritual law and bring upon people and the world great physical and spiritual devastation. As it is known, if the union through sexual intimacy is ‘abused and wasted’ (i.e., the act is not fulfilled leshem mitzva of procreation, as it is the case of a sanctified union), not only the potential of spiritual ascension fails to be realized, but the sexual energy in its ‘physical form’ (the involved fluids) vitalizes the chitzonim. This has the effect of subjugating the side of kedusha, chaz v’shalom. Moreover, the spiritual energy, vis-à-vis, the sexual energy used only for self-gratification becomes an instrument of disconnection and spiritual exile of the soul, assertively thrusting the person toward the domain of the klipot – where extraneous and impure spiritual elements negate the unity of G-d. This degradation implies on the loss of the person’s spiritual stature, for in only privileging the ‘animal aspect’ of an intimate union, he sustains only the level of an animal – below his complete experience of humanity.

 

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WHAT IS THE SPIRITUAL ASPECT OF SEMEN?

Against a ruach rah (evil spirit) David HaMelech sang: Lo iegurechah rah va’atsape, “Evil shall not dwell with You” (Tehillim 5:5). And regarding he who impurifies himself with the pleasure in the evil that profanes men the most, to wit, in the hotza’at zera levatalah (spilling the seeds in vain), it is thus said: “He will not come inside the masach [curtain] of the Holy One, blessed be He, and behold the presence of Atik Yomim” (Zohar 188a, Vayeshev). Why it is that semen has such power to bring tumah? For the spiritual law of zeh l’umat zeh asah Elokim, “What G-d created in the side of kedusha He equally created in the side of tumah” (Kohelet 7:14) establishes that, semen is as much the rawest and most naked ‘creative energy’ that exists in the physical universe, the actual corporification of an aspect of the Ohr Ayin Sof through which even the neshamot of the tzaddikim are brought down to this world, as well as the potential source for the greatest spiritual degeneration that there is, implying on the direct strengthening of the sitra achra, chaz v’shalom. Hence, such a precious and powerful energy must be transported and used with the greatest care and discretion in order not to allow that, “They shall profane My secret place; for the robbers shall enter into it, and profane it” (Yecheskiel 7:22). And the appropriate manner to maintain this energy hidden, and thus protected, is through its ‘exclusive’ use in the procreation of life – when the love of a man and his wife act as a spiritual barrier against the chitzonim – the insatiable “robbers” from the side of profanity.

Now, if the person transgresses the commandments of Lo Tirtzach, Lo Tinaf, Lo Tignov, Lo Ta’ane Bereacha Ed Shaker, “Do not kill; Do not commit adultury; Do not steal; and Do not bear false witness” (Shemot 20:13), and in this way becomes a “rebellious prince and companion of thieves… Therefore said the L-rd, the L-rd of hosts, the mighty One of Israel, Ah! I will ease me of My adversaries, and avenge me of My enemies” (Yeshayahu 1:23-24). And this is why this perversity is so vile, for it implies on the transgression of so many Divine commandments: “Do not kill”, since it is said that “Your hands are full of blood” (ibid. Yeshayahu 15. The previous Zohar 188a explains that this verse alludes to zera levatalah. See also Rashi on Yecheskiel 23:37; R’ Chayim Vital, Sha’arei Kedusha, Chelek Beit, Sha’ar Chet), and truly, each seed could have generated life, but it only result in death (thus, tumat hameit). “Do not commit adultery”, for instead of increasing the powers of Good in the world, this person giver power to the “lover”, i.e., all that is external to the kedusha, chaz v’shalom (see Kitsur Sefer Chareidim, Chai Adam, in the subject of not being Mnof by himself, by spilling seed). “Do not steal”, for the person becomes a direct accessory to stealing the Ohr Ayin Sof, causing tzaarot (sufferings) to the world. Finally, “Do not bear false witness”, for as it is written, “The L-rd your G-d will circumcise your heart, and the heart of your seed” (Devarim 30:6), which means that, whatever happens to man also happens to his offspring, be it for good or not. And “when a man dies, the progeny of mashchitim [spiritual destroyers] that he fathered [through the energy of his semen that fed the ‘spiritual lover’, the sitra achra] also follows after the bier [together with his earthly children], expressing great sorrow [and ‘bearing false witness’ to the ‘generosity’ of his father which, after all, begot them]. But all this grieving [and false witnessing] is a terrible disgrace for the deceased’” (R’ Nachman of Breslov, Likkutei Moharan I:141). May Hashem spare us from such punishments.