“On the night of 28 of Tevet, 5774 on parashat Bo, I was meditating on the verse זה-שמי לעלם וזה זכרי לדר דר ‘This is My name forever, and this is My remembrance to all generations’[1], expanding my conscious with the millennia old mental exercises from the Torah. And it was them that suddenly I felt as if I had entered into something – it was another environment. When I realize that this dimensional translation took place, I immediately began feeling a great primal anxiety, generated by the biological instinct that sharpen the senses when we find ourselves in an unknown habitat. My heart accelerated. And with the eyes of the mind, there I saw an all-dark environment, not like the darkness of the night but rather as if in some manner the sunlight was absent during the day, and amazingly, I could feel the darkness. In this great region, different things and objects shined with intense colors. The colors were strong, almost saturated. The only light there was the one coming from these things and objects, for all the rest was the purest of darkness. There were no bright stars glittering, nor visible heavenly bodies, nothing. Only the intense darkness and the things and objects with their strong and gleaming colors that irradiated the path in that place. I thought I was in another dimension, being allowed to see some far physical location in the universe. I even prepared myself for a possible encounter with some being. However, at that moment, I lost focus and came back to the state I was before the meditation. But, a few seconds later, I returned to that place and the same anxiety came back to disturb me. I did not see anything different in this second experience, but only confirmed the vision of the first one: full darkness and objects of varied sizes with intense colors that were the only light source in the place. Moreover, I could see everything as if standing somewhat above ground, or on top of a mount. Both experiences did not last much, perhaps a minute, but it seemed like an eternity… And it was when I began to meditate again and soon after I heard what I heard from my Maggid: ‘G-d is with you. Shalom my dear. Know that what you saw was truly the singular darkness from the makat choshech, the plague of darkness. The colorful lights were the divine sparks extraordinarily revealed from the objects and treasures that the Jews acquired during the three days of this plague. And this is why it is written, ולכל בני ישראל היה אור במושבתם, ‘All the children of Israel had light in their dwellings’[2]. Here I finished my meditation. After this, I investigated and found that the gematria atbash of this verse is 2370, that is, 10 times 237, that being the gematria of זכרי zichri ‘My remembrance’, as in the verse וזה זכרי לדר דר ‘and this is My remembrance to all generations’[3]. This relates to my experience in that, all Hashem does is eternal and can be ‘remembered’, that is, ‘accessed and experienced’ at some level. As written, יבש חציר נבל ציץ ודבר-אלקינו יקום לעולם ‘The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our G-d shall endure forever’[4], with mispar siduri 350, that being equal to the gematria of שמי shemi ‘My Name’, as in the verse זה-שמי לעלם ‘This is My name forever’[5]. The Torah in of itself is made of infinite portals. Through one’s study, meditation and by realizing that Torah is alive and dynamic, the light then shines in ‘their dwellings’, that is, in one’s mind and life”[6].
(THIS TEXT CONTINUES IN THE UPCOMING BOOK “AVRAHAM BAMIDBAR – VOLUME 4”)
[1] Shemot 3:15.
[2] Shemot 10:23.
[3] Ibid. 3:15.
[4] Yeshayahu 40:8.
[5] Shemot 3:15. The sum gematria of the two citations of this verse is 587. By adding the gematria of יהו”ה, which is 26, the result is 613 (mitzvot). So, 237 + 350 + 26 = 613.
[6] Nachon Libi, pgs. 1044-1045.
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